Love Thy Neighbor???

So I haven't posted in a while; not for lack of interest in the page, but rather lack of material. Things have been pretty quiet around the Stockholm house...that is until last night. I was at work when I get a call from Mark saying that our crazy drunken neighbor had returned home from a night of binge drinking with the car stereo blaring and was now banging on the door screaming "I wanna see my sexy neighbor!!! Come outside!" Apparently she had driven home with two flat tired (one of which was completely gone) and had run over at least 2 mailboxes on our street (not to mention the flowerbed at the entrance to our neighborhood).

Mark finally went outside to help her get the top up on her convertible, but apparently that wasn't enough for the crazy drunken neighbor because she started coming on to Mark saying extremely crude things that I will not repeat on here. Mark told her several times to stay away from him and then finally out of desperation, he took her car keys and went back in the house. A few moments later the drunk began throwing herself into our front door and kicking our house. She eventually fell into our bushes, completely destroying them. After a while she finally went back home, but this adventure doesn't stop there folks....nope, I wouldn't be writing about this if there wasn't an insane ending!

Mark hears her rummaging through the garage and around her car. Apparently she finally located a second set of keys to her car and was trying to drive away. She drove into her garage and then was sort of doing a parallel parking maneuver in the driveway and on her lawn. Mark called the police and advised them of the situation. They arrived faster than last time (Thank God) and tried to handcuff her but she was fighting with the police! She had placed the spare car key between her knuckles and was swinging at the cops trying to punch or cut them! They finally (after fighting with her for at least 3-5 minutes) got her in the back seat and took her to jail for the following:
Failure to stop and give information after an accident (the mail boxes)
Public Intoxication
Resisting Arrest

We still have her house keys, so when she is released from Harris County Jail she will have to come get them. I'm not looking forward to our next encounter. She never remembers (or at least that is what she says) what she does when she is this drunk, so I am sure I will have to recap the evening for her. Fun Fun Fun! Too bad the HOA can't evict her!