Ok, so I just screamed like Fae Ray in King Kong! Literally jumping up and down like a 4 year old, because I found a lizard in my house! A LIZARD! Not a spider or fly, but a genuine lizard with no tail, probably because he broke into someone else's house and they chopped it off! Only in Texas folks! In NJ, there are no lizards; only house flies and the occasional black widow in the wood pile, so seeing a lizard lounging in my foyer was a definite first for me.
Mark suggested that I kill it, but I couldn't justify that amount of bloodshed (after all, lizards are considerably larger than spiders, who by the way I would happily have squished if they dared enter my domicile...sorry PETA, don't hate me like you do Obama hahahaha). Instead I chose a less violent solution...I grabbed a plastic cup and covered him with it. Using Mark's old speeding ticket (that's a whole other story), I tried to scoop him up, holding the ticket against the opening of the cup. I did not, however, anticipate having to open the door without the use of my hands. This task proved too difficult even for someone with my level of flexibility and so I was forced to momentarily place the cup containing said lizard on the window sill. Let me say this...speeding tickets aren't all that strong. In fact they aren't strong at all, (or maybe the lizard was on steroids...that is yet to be proven, as the blood tests are still pending review by the lab. But I digress) because not 2 seconds after I placed little Lizzy (I have at this point now named the intruder) on the window sill, did I see his little leg reaching out from under the cup, in a feeble attempt at escape.
*scream #2*
Oh no little Lizzy...you will not get away from Lauren's Alcatraz that easily!
I quickly scooped him up and ran him outside onto the porch. I gave him a stern talking to before releasing him; hopefully that will do the trick, otherwise the next time I catch him lurking around my house it's the meat cleaver for him!
Phew! Enough drama for today thank you...now I'm off to work.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHA I can totally picture this happening!!!! Thanks for the laugh! I needed it!
LMFAO!!!!! Best story ever!!! I needed this today, thanks.
Mom 2 - Helen
This from the girl who had lizzards of her own and wrapped a boa around herself at the age of 6!!!!!!! What happened to that brave litle girl?!?
NJ Mom
Okay, I'd just have to say that I laughed just like everyone else did in response to this blog. I can just picture you screaming as the lizard is trying to escape from the cup. HAHA!!!! I can just picture the little leg creeping out. HAHA! Anyways...thanks for not killing it. That definitely would have been gross. Really?! You don't have lizards in New Jersey??? So interesting.
That is a great story... and I agree with Keri. The picture in my head of you running around with a lizard in a cup is absolutely hysterical!
Miss ya!
Ellie
Post a Comment